Signs of a Low-Quality Company

I've been looking into investing lately, especially in the stock market. My reading on the subject gave me some nice tips on spotting low-quality companies, and I would like to pass it on to you:

Ten Signs You're Looking at a Low-Quality Company

1. The annual meeting presentation is done on an Etch-a-Sketch.
2. Your call to the company is greeted with, "If our product made you violently ill, please press one. If you're planning to sue us, please press two.
3. New line item introduced to the income statement: "Potential Revenue"
4. The company is named Planet Hollywood.
5. The very mention of its [stock] brings a chorus of laughter from co-workers.
6. The business, www.eMeringue.com , is based on selling pie meringues on-line.
7. One of the business costs mentioned in the annual report is "Bail."
8. The CEO reports that [a profit] depends on [the lottery].
9. Revenue is reported in pennies.
10. The CEO is a [clown]

P.S. - If you did not understand some words, don't worry there are nine (or eight, or seven, or six, or five, or four, or three, or two, or one, or zero) other things that are funny.