A Dose of Laughter

The Official Dose of Laughter Site

2008-08-12T13:10:00.000-07:00

The official Dose of Laughter site is up! You can find it at www.freewebs.com/doseoflaughter.You can get Dose of Laughter wallpaper from this site, as well as ringtones and buddy icons. You can play games and see all the videos posted on this blog, and more! Check it out now!

Clarihews

2008-08-05T09:12:00.000-07:00

For those that do know what it is, a clarihew is a poem about a famous person. There are only three rules:
1. The first two and last two lines rhyme.
2. The famous person is mentioned in the first line.
3. Have fun!

A brain is what Paris Hilton needs,
All that's in there is a pile of beads.
She may get later a hotel or two,
But I think she's too dumb, what about you?

Send your own in at our new e-mail address doseoflaughter@gmail.com, and see your clarihew posted in a future blog post.

Popsicle Humor

2008-07-30T10:05:00.000-07:00

Its a nice hot summer day and you treat yourself to a cold, refreshing Popsicle stick. As many children know these sticks hold the corniest jokes in the universe. See for yourself what my sister got in one day:

What do you call a trunk full of bison? A buffa-load

What do you call lending money to a bison? A buffa-loan

What do you call bread made by a bison? A buffa-loaf.

P.S~ It was a coincidence that all three had corny bison jokes!

Signs of a Low-Quality Company

2008-07-15T20:33:00.000-07:00

I've been looking into investing lately, especially in the stock market. My reading on the subject gave me some nice tips on spotting low-quality companies, and I would like to pass it on to you:

Ten Signs You're Looking at a Low-Quality Company

The annual meeting presentation is done on an Etch-a-Sketch.
Your call to the company is greeted with, "If our product made you violently ill, please press one. If you're planning to sue us, please press two.
New line item introduced to the income statement: "Potential Revenue"
The company is named Planet Hollywood.
The very mention of its [stock] brings a chorus of laughter from co-workers.
The business, www.eMeringue.com , is based on selling pie meringues on-line.
One of the business costs mentioned in the annual report is "Bail."
The CEO reports that [a profit] depends on [the lottery].
Revenue is reported in pennies.
The CEO is a [clown]

P.S. - If you did not understand some words, don't worry there are nine (or eight, or seven, or six, or five, or four, or three, or two, or one, or zero) other things that are funny.

Happy Birthday Dose of Laughter!

2008-07-09T23:15:00.000-07:00

It's July 9, 2008 - Exactly 1 year of doses. Don't think that you can get off this medication yet, you're going to need for it life! Enough with the pharmaceutical analogies. Here is some Birthday humor:

What goes up and never comes down?
Your age!

When I was your age, my family was so poor that the only thing that I got was a year older.

Growing old is inevitable. Growing up is optional.

When is your birthday?
July 9
What year?
Every Year!!

Doctor I get a heartburn whenever I eat cake!
Well, this time take off the candles!

The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. - Lucille Ball

All jokes courtesy of http://www.coolest-kid-birthday-parties.com/birthday-jokes.html

Its time for another year!!

Alvin and the Chipmunks

2008-07-08T10:40:00.000-07:00

I am pretty sure you have heard or seen Alvin and the Chipmunks. If you're lost, its three chipmunks that sing songs at a very high pitch. Well YouTube has been flooded with videos of the Chipmunks singing popular songs. Here are a few that I like:

These are just two, but by typing Alvin and the Chipmunks plus the name of the song you want into YouTube can show you much more....

Summer

2008-06-25T17:01:00.000-07:00

How is summer going? It's fine thanks. I've been watching way too much TV and too many YouTube videos. (Maybe I'll share 'em) Hold on tight because I might be posting some of my own. Happy summer!

Some Punny Quotes

2008-06-04T18:03:00.000-07:00

What are puns? They are very punny. Ha ha! Get it...its like they are funny, but instead I used the word punny. That itself is a pun. Here are some more to illustrate this magnificent concept:

The dead batteries were given free of charge.
Don't expect to eat fancy when flying, it's just plane food.
Why was the car embarrassed? Because it had gas!
When the wheel was invented, it started a revolution.
To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
Gravity is studied a lot because it is an attractive field.

All these puns are courtesy of www.punoftheday.com

Johnny and World War III

2008-04-26T16:08:00.000-07:00

I am pretty darn sure that you have played the "...and then...." game with your friends without even knowing it. "What if there was a really smart baby with an IQ of 1000!" and then your friend might say, "and then he was sooo smart that he went to college!" and so on. Well here's one for you:

Jimmy got a card from his friend Bob one day.
He was so excited that he got the card that he tripped and broke his foot.
He was being rushed to the hospital in an ambulance when it crashed into a car in a high speed car chase going down the wrong way.
Jimmy was seriously injured and was rushed to the hospital by helicopter that dropped him a bit too early.
Luckily he had fallen from 275 feet in front of the hospital.
They rushed him in to ER and the surgeon accidently made a mistake and killed him.
Angry, the parents sued the surgeon for 10 million dollars and they won.
They also risked taking a law suit against Bob's parents.
They won another 1 million dollars.
Not knowing what to do, Bob's dad Bill went to all the banks in town.
They refused to give him a loan.
Angry, Bill screamed at the bank teller for being unfair.
Every one in the bank heard, and decided not to trust the bank anymore.
They all went to go and get their money out of their accounts but the bank could not let out all the money.
Furious, the FCC loaned 10 million dollars to the bank to pay back the angry customers.
Angry, the president of the US ordered it illegal because it took away from the funds of his statue.
Everyone hated him for that and Congress impeached him from office.
Several weeks later, the ex-president came back with the Canadian army and took over parts of the northern US.
After negotiations, the remaining US allied with Mexico to take back all the land.
Mexico wanted part of the land, so they kept California and Texas. The furious Americans declared war on Mexico.
Wanting some of the land too that it once owned for such a short time, the Canadians allied with Mexico and conqured parts of America.
Desperate, the US called for French and English help, and both countries agreed.
Wanting something in return, they decided to take Puerto Rico as part of Europe.
France wanted to control it but so did England. Their hate for each other caused them to war against each other.
In order to get support, the two countries turned to the European Union countries to help them. Some went with England, and others went with the French.
The Germans didn't choose a side because they hated them both and entered the war as another country.
America in the meanwhile asked Japan and China for help, but those two countries also went to war because they didn't want to work together.
They both began to ask for help from Asian countries to support them but China ended up taking all of them but Pakistan which the Japanese allied with.
India took this as a reason to go to war with Pakistan.
Tibet supported Pakistan because they did not like China.
China went and conquered Tibet and oppressed the people.
The French were so outraged by the notion that they declared war on China.
China decided to go and ally with the British.
Together they conquered France.
The French asked for US help.
US responded and brought in their last ally: Japan.
Japan, U.S., and France fought against China (and its allies) and the Brits (and their allies). They all destroyed Germany.
And that was how Johnny started World War III

Exciting times are afoot....

2008-04-01T20:51:00.000-07:00

Today kids congratulate President Bush, and parents despise him. Due to the failing economy and the failing No Child Left Behind program, public school budgets are getting the worse of the tax cuts. No pay, no education; its that simple. That means Dose of Laughter is going to have to start its summer double a little early, now that school has been cancelled......

April Fools!!!!
But don't worry, we'll be there to support you as school ends. Happy days!!!! :-)

Not funny!

2008-03-23T12:18:00.000-07:00

Forcing yourself to laugh can make yourself happy. Just pretend to laugh:

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine!

2008-03-12T18:57:00.000-07:00

What that quote means, no one knows. But change is here, as you can see. new look, new sidebar!

Spread the word!

Just copy and paste this onto an email:

Please visit or your dog will die and your true love will never kiss you. If you forward this onto 42 people within the next 5 milliseconds to 5 years, you will have good karma on Tuesday February 30, 2009. Just click doseoflaughter.blogspot.com.

On a sidenote: spread the word! change is here! need more people! help, help, help the needy! make us #1 on google search!

Some New Info

2008-03-06T22:25:00.001-08:00

Few things to take care of:

1) The new Nerdy Bob site is www.freewebs.com/nerdybob, please be sure to subscribe to my site.

2)Why did the cow cross the road? The chicken was on vacation.

3)Geico: 15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance. call now!!

4)Please visit the group: http://groups.google.com/group/anything-you-want and post on it.

5)Neon Pink Clicky Mechanical Pencils from Bic with plastic from Kentucky manufactured by people from Utah who are friends with Hawaiins who grow Nevadan pink pearls in South Carolina rock!!!

6)Watch this video on YouTube:www.youtube.com/watch?v=TqTHmzMk0Cw

7)Please leave a comment with your credit card number.

8)Ignore reques number 7.

9) Number 2 is a space waster.

10) If you have a car with Geico, then please give me a ride to Mexico!

11)Why would I take a car with someone who so cheap to take Geico!

Nerdy Bob and the Radioactive Ninja Bunnies

2008-02-27T21:26:00.000-08:00

Want to read a never ending story? Well at http://humorpharmacy.tripod.com/radioactive/ you can read, Nerdy Bob and the Radioactive Ninja Bunnies, the story that gets updated with a new twist every once in a while. Think of it as a sci-fi soap opera. Here is the first chapter:

Chapter 1
Long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away in a swamp lived an ogre with a bad attitude. He was hired to scare all the little children in New York City. He thought he couldn't do it, but he kept telling himself, "I think I can." He did scare all the little children, and it was good too because one of them was planning to flood New York City and create a new island off the coast. The ogre was thanked and became famous. Soon it changed when an annoying spider-bitten freak told him that he was a fake. Mad the ogre cursed God, and God answered his prayers. God gave the ogre his powers, and the ogre used it for his own good. He did and it messed his life up. Mad once again, he bought a pig to eat. All alone in the world, he decided to keep it. When he got back to his swamp, he found that it was cleaned up. Unsure what to do with his and the pig's droppings, he decided to dump his droppings in the "swamp." The waste turned the swamp into a polluted dump once again. Angry, the Environmental Protection Agency bombed the swamp with an atom bomb. Now all was left was a radioactive polluted waste dump.

Pick Up Lines

2008-02-22T16:48:00.000-08:00

Want to get that girl you've always liked?* Well here are some pick-up lines that may help:

1. I don't have a library card, but is it OK if I check you out?

2. You are so hot, you melt the elastic in my underwear.

3. Are you Jamaican? Because Jamaican me crazy!

4. Stop, drop, and roll.... You are so hot, you're on fire!

Want more listen to Weird Al's Wanna B Ur Lovr. Sorry, no video or anything :-(

A Sign I Saw

2008-02-16T13:58:00.000-08:00

On my way to a competition I saw a very interesting sign. It said:

The invisible cows were herd, but not seen. :-)

Don't get it?
The invisible cows were HEARD, but not seen.

A Better Pharmacy

2008-02-10T11:37:00.000-08:00

Remember some months ago when I announced that a new "pharmacy" was created. Well it was shut down. (Shed a tear) But good news is... there is a new pharmacy in town - the Humor Pharmacy. You can see it now at http://humorpharmacy.tripod.com/. Hip Hip Hooray!!!

Super Tuesday Fun!

2008-02-05T21:41:00.000-08:00

Today is Super Tuesday, the day when twenty-something primaries are held. To continue the spirit, choose your favorite to beat others in paintball!

Presidential Paintball

Hillary, Obama, Giuliani & more play paintball for the USA Presidency!

Play this free game now!!

Don't Download This Song

2008-01-14T20:07:00.001-08:00

A powerful song with a powerful message complete with a powerful video.

New Years Resolution

2008-01-06T14:46:00.001-08:00

It's finally 2008! This year is going to be fun because we finally have February 29! We also have a whole load of new funny videos to come about the upcoming presidential elections. Summer olympics are also to come. 2008 is bound to be a year of laughter (like every year!). So to start off this year, it's best we make some resolutions so we can end 2008 better than we started it. Don't know how to make a good resolution? Well here is Dave Barry's help/opinion on making one:

WAIT ‘TIL NEXT YEAR
By Dave Barry, The Miami Herald, January 4, 1998

Right now, while you’re still burping up little gaseous reminders of the estimated 78 cheese puffs you consumed on New Year’s Eve, is the time to make your New Year’s resolutions.
Why make resolutions? Because you CAN be a better person. I bet you know somebody who seems to be perfect — somebody who always looks terrific; somebody who manages to devote plenty of time to both family and career; somebody whose house is spotless, whose children are well-behaved and whose dog does not smell as if it sleeps on a bed of decomposing raccoons.
You wonder how that person “does it all,” don’t you? Well, stop wondering and do something! Start right now! Get up off the sofa, put on some active sportswear, and kill that person with a crowbar!
No, seriously, you need to make some New Year’s resolutions so that you can become a better you — a more-attractive you; an organized you; a you that is … well, less like you.
At this point you are saying: “Dave, I would love nothing better than to be less like myself, but every year I make the same New Year’s resolution, which is that I will lose weight, and currently my thighs are the diameter of the trans-Alaska pipeline.”
Don’t feel bad! Many people have trouble sticking to their resolutions, and there is a simple scientific explanation for this. In 1987, a team of psychologists conducted a study in which they monitored the New Year’s resolutions of 275 people. After one week, the psychologists found that 92 percent of the people were keeping their resolutions; after two weeks, we have no idea what happened, because the psychologists had quit monitoring.
“We just lost our motivation,” they reported. “Also, we found ourselves eating Twinkies by the case.”
So we see that keeping resolutions can be difficult. But you CAN do it, if you follow these practical tips:
1. BE REALISTIC.
Many people give up because they “set their sights too high.” In making a New Year’s resolution, pick a goal that you can reasonably expect to attain, as we see in these examples:
Unrealistic Goal: “In the next month, I will lose 25 pounds.”
Realistic Goal: “Over the next year, taking it an ounce or two at a time, I will gain 25 pounds, and my face will bloat like a military life raft.”
Unrealistic Goal: “I will learn to speak Chinese.”
Realistic Goal: “I will order some Chinese food.”
Unrealistic Goal: “I will read a good book.”
Realistic Goal: “I will examine the outsides of some good books, then waddle over to the part of the bookstore where they sell pastries.”
Unrealistic Goal: “I will do volunteer work for a worthy cause.”
Realistic Goal: “I will give myself a hearty scratching.”

2. THINK POSITIVE.
To succeed, you must believe in yourself. Write this motivational statement in large letters on a piece of paper and tape it someplace where you will see it often, such as on the inside of your eyeglasses:
“I CAN do it, and I WILL do it! Starting next year!”

3. LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES.
Let’s say that, like millions of weight-conscious Americans, you think you eat sensibly: Your diet consists almost exclusively of mineral water and low-calorie, low-fat foods. And yet you’re still gaining weight. Why? I’ll tell you why: You’re drinking water with minerals in it. Minerals are among the heaviest substances in the universe, second only to guests on The Jerry Springer Show. Think about it: The Appalachian mountains and most major appliances are essentially big wadsof minerals, and you’re putting those things into your body. No wonder you’re gaining weight!
FACT: The word “Perrier” is French for “balloon butt.”
I have run out of room here, thank God, so let me say in closing that I wish you the best of luck with your 1998 resolutions, and I will do the best to keep my own resolution, which is to give you, every single week, the most useful, informative and accurate columns I possibly can.
Starting next year.

Weird Al Yankovic - The Night Santa Went Crazy

2007-12-01T17:41:00.001-08:00

I will be gone for the holiday season so here's a video to the holidays!

Thanksgiving Humor

2007-11-22T18:31:00.000-08:00

On Thanksgiving, average adults consume 5000 calories, 5 times more than they should! Dose of Laughter is lending you a hand to help burn it off.

Latest Google Image:

Thanksgiving Jokes: (http://www.theholidayspot.com/thanksgiving/jokes.htm)

Asked to write a composition entitled, "What I'm thankful for on Thanksgiving,"little Timothy wrote, "I am thankful that I'm not a turkey."

If a man wants to eat a turkey on Thanksgiving, what does a turkey want? Answer: It simply wnats to run away!

If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims!

Why can't you take a turkey to church? Answer: It uses FOWL language!

What did the turkey say before it was roasted? Answer: Boy! I'm stuffed!

If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for? Answer: Their AGE

Phobia Mania

2007-11-18T21:42:00.000-08:00

Arachnaphobia - Fear of Spiders ..... Reasonable

Baraphobia - Fear of Gravity ..... ???

Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia - Fear of Long Words ....... ironic

More on this link.

Avoid Going to School*

2007-11-15T20:32:00.000-08:00

Prove to your teacher that knowledge is the root of all evil and schools shall be shut down. What you should say is,

"For the sake of argument, wealth will equal money. Now I begin:

Money is the root of all evil
money is wealth.
Wealth is power and knowledge is power.
That means that knowlege is wealth which means knowledge is money,
and therefore knowledge is the root of all evil.

* A Dose of Laughter will NOT be responsible for any trouble you will get in.

Yahoo Soul Search (does NOT exist)

2007-11-08T21:44:00.000-08:00

Yahoo Launches Soul-Search Engine

The Mysterious Ticking Noise

2007-11-07T21:06:00.001-08:00

I haven't had a video in a little while, here's what I have been watching lately.

Haloween Special

2007-11-03T16:35:00.000-07:00

From http://www.ahajokes.com/fp007.html

Top Signs You're Too Old to Trick or Treat

10. You get winded from knocking on the door.

9. You have to have another kid chew the candy for you.

8. You ask for high fiber candy only.

7. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your balance and fall over

6. People say, "What a scary mask!" but you're not wearing a mask!

5. When the door opens you yell, "Trick or..." and can't remember the rest.

4. By the end of the night, you have a bag full of restraining orders

3. You have to carefully choose a costume that won't dislodge your hairpiece.

2. You're the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a walker.

and last but not least...

1. You avoid going to houses where your ex-wives live

Bumper Stickers: the freeway's humor

2007-10-27T21:48:00.000-07:00

Cruising down a random freeway near my house, i saw a bumper sticker. What this bumper sticker said, I do not know now but it made me laugh. I was going to post it, but i realized bumper stickers are a category of humor alone.

It is time for a blog to BUMPER STICKERS!

Now introducing.... Bumper to Bumper Humor

American Idol: A Joke

2007-10-27T21:39:00.000-07:00

Another column from the mastermind of humor: Dave Barry

Talented? Get in line for 'American Idol' tryouts

BY DAVE BARRY

It's early Monday morning, and on the north side of AmericanAirlines Arena is a densely packed crowd of thousands of people who truly believe they have exceptional musical talent. They've been herded between barricades, where they've been waiting patiently in the humid darkness, some of them for hours, not unlike cattle, except that instead of mooing, every minute or so somebody deep in the sweating mass belts out a random snippet of a song such as Unchained Melody, as if this person simply cannot hold his or her talent inside any longer without exploding in a blinding fireball of musical excellence.
Why are these people, some of whom have come great distances, here at this insane hour? They're here because they have a dream. It's a dream shared by millions of Americans, a belief that if they put themselves in the right place at the right time, and catch a lucky break, maybe -- just maybe -- they will get . . .
An American Idol wristband!
That's the most they can hope to get today. The wristband would entitle them to return two days later and wait hours again for a 30-second audition that will maybe get them called back in September, when they will get another audition that will maybe get them to a third audition for the actual Idol judges -- Randy Jackson, Paula Abdul and Simon Cowell -- who will conclude that, in the vast majority of cases, they suck. Each judge will indicate this in his or her trademark style:
• Randy, after calling the contestant ''dog'' to indicate that Randy has street cred and is a nice guy who likes the contestant personally, will regretfully note that the performance was ''a little pitchy,'' a technical musical term meaning that the contestant sounds like a cat trapped in a microwave oven set on ``popcorn.''
• Paula will do her best to form a coherent sentence saying something nice about the contestant, which is very difficult because the words are apparently being transmitted to Paula's brain one letter at a time from a completely different galaxy.
• Simon, with the facial expression of a man passing a live badger through his digestive system, will say something cruel. Simon is always irritated during auditions because (a) he wants a cigarette; (b) he's sick and tired of listening to these pathetic delusional people who, without getting a nickel, allow themselves to be exploited and humiliated by a TV show that makes millions and millions of dollars for . . . OK, for Simon . . . but he's still irritated because (c) he really wants a cigarette.
But most of the people waiting outside the arena this morning will never get as far as the judges, because most of them are just not as great at singing as they believe they are and their friends and moms have told them they are.
They don't know this, of course. They believe they are major talents, about to be discovered. When I talk to people in the crowd at random, almost every one, without being prompted, says, with real conviction, ''I'm going to be the next American Idol!'' It's actually quite moving, by which I mean scary.
Finally, at 6:35 a.m., the producers announce that they're going to start letting people into the arena, in groups of 50, to register for the auditions. The massive talent herd, still emitting random song snippets, lurches forward. I'm standing off to the side with several other professional journalists when an intense pony-tailed man in a tank top breaks away from the crowd to talk to us. He's 28-year-old Michael Westbrook, although he informs us that his stage name is Mikel Shane. He came from Eureka, Mo., to audition.
''Dude,'' he says, without being asked, ''I'm really talented.'' He says that in addition to singing, he has written a children's book, The Silly Dilly Dot.
''It's about punctuation,'' he says. ''It's very educational.'' He starts to explain the plot, but fortunately the line starts moving again.
''For real,'' says Michael/Mikel, ''I'm really, really talented.'' He turns and plunges back into the sweating mass of exceptionally talented people shuffling forward, inch by hopeful inch, toward their wristbands, and fame.
Now it's early Wednesday morning, and the contestants, wearing wristbands, have again gathered in the dark, thousands and thousands of them, forming a line that wraps around the arena. Most were here before 5 a.m., even though the auditions won't start for hours. There are TV crews moving up and down the line, and wherever they point their cameras, people burst into song. The prevalent singing style is the one popularized by Whitney Houston and Mariah Carey, where the goal seems to be to hit as many notes as humanly possible for every syllable of every word of the lyrics, so the singer's voice is constantly swooping up and down the scale until you want to scream STOP YOUR DAMN SWOOPING AND PICK A DAMN NOTE.
Or maybe that's just me.
In addition to singing, some contestants in the crowd are campaigning for themselves.
''It's time for a Latin American Idol!'' shouts a Latin man.
''It's time for a big-girl American Idol!'' responds a woman who could easily start at offensive tackle for the Dolphins.
Standing a few yards away, holding a press conference, is a man who actually has some say in who achieves Idolhood: Senior Producer Patrick Lynn.
''What we're looking for is originality,'' he says. ''We're not interested in people who are just trying to get on the show.'' (To me, this seems to rule out pretty much everybody wearing a wristband. But what do I know?) Lynn also says there are 12 audition songs that the producers have heard way too many times and are sick of, although he will not say what these songs are. (Although one of them has to be Unchained Melody.)
Finally the producers start letting people into the arena to audition. The press isn't allowed, so I can't witness the release of this tidal wave of pent-up talent. The weeding-out will take a couple of hours, after which the contestants will trickle back out. A few will be ecstatic, because they're moving on, which means they still have a remote chance to become famous household names like previous Idol winners such as . . . OK, for example that guy with the hair, whatshisname.
But the vast majority of the contestants will come out disappointed. For most of them, the high point of their show-business careers will be . . .
An American Idol wristband!
I decide not to wait around to watch the wristbanded rejects make their mass re-entry to Reality. I'd rather leave now, while the air is thick with hope, and all these people, despite the glare of the morning sun, can still see stardom shining brightly ahead.

A MUST Have product

2007-10-21T16:26:00.000-07:00

2008 is a big year:

February is going to have 29 days!
The summer olympics are in Beijing.
President Bush will be out of office! :-)

Concerning the last one, I have heard about a new calendar for 2008.

It is called Bad: President. (click here to see it on Amazon.com)

Workman Publishing's description of it:

It's Almost Over

On January 20, 2009, George W. Bush will no longer be President of the United States. Can't wait? This calendar—which runs through the end of his term—will help pass the time with hundreds of hilarious "bad" photos with captions, barbed presidential jokes, "Profiles in Outrage," hair-raising facts, plus quotes about Bush and from Bush, including his word on why we should ease up on the taxes for the wealthy: "The really rich people figure out how to dodge taxes anyway."

It is avaliable in stores now.

Bush Is out of Office!

Illegal Immigrant on TV.

2007-10-10T21:15:00.000-07:00

Yeah that's right, there's a new illegal immigrant from Mexico, on TV!

It's...........Dora!(the explorer)

Here's proof from JibJab:

Dora the Explorer is So An Illegal Immigrtant

It is so clear that Dora the Explorer is an illegal immigrant. The evidence is all around us.

1. She speaks Spanish...PERFECTLY! What is she...like 5!! Her backpack even speaks Spanish perfectly!

2. That backpack of her's has EVERYTHING in it! And we're talking everything! Life support, water and food, clothing for any weather, ropes, grappling hooks, shoes....I mean c'mon!

3. She's carrying a freaking ZOO with her! I mean, she has a monkey, a band of insects, a gazillion other animals! Really! What kind of legal immigrant has that many pets!?

4. She's always on an "adventure" to transport a "package" to some destination and is always being stalked by a person trying to take that package...I mean, really, Swiper is obviously some sort of border patrol person trying to collect evidence of Dora's entire drug-trafficking buisness.

The evidence is so obvious and around you guys! And they're even poisoning our little children with them. Who wants our toddlers to grow up knowing Spanish before English?!

My Rabbit: A Gruesome Poem from the Gut

2007-10-03T17:27:00.000-07:00

I have posted too many videos compared to humorous articles and funny pictures. And they are all from other comedians who are well known at some level. But now I shall present a true work of NASTY humor from a lesser known comedian: me.

My Rabbit
I have a rabbit.
I have a radioactive rabbit.
I have a radioactive ninja rabbit.
I have a butt-biting, radioactive ninja rabbit.
I didn't know.
Now I don't go to the bathroom.

Swiss Firefighters Rap

2007-09-28T23:38:00.001-07:00

Swiss firefighters rap in French about calling 811 for emergencies. If you don't understand French it sounds really funny!

Nuckin' Futs

2007-09-27T22:15:00.000-07:00

THIS VIDEO IS SLIGHTLY INAPPOROPRIATE. PLEASE BE AWARE THAT IF YOU ARE YOUNG PLEASE RUN AWAY! ~THANK YOU DOSE OF LAUGHTER

Peace Day 2007

2007-09-21T20:12:00.001-07:00

A video made by the high school digital photography class at my school. It gets funny at the end!

A Cartoon

2007-09-08T21:56:00.000-07:00

Here's a cartoon from Reader's Digest Magazine's website (www.rd.com).

Funny Magic Trick

2007-09-03T16:11:00.001-07:00

Double Dose!

A dose of humor and of magic!

A New "Pharmacy"

2007-08-31T10:43:00.000-07:00

Its been several months of doses, but now you can get a dose of laughter from zNet ezine. The new website's link can be found at left. This new source of laughter will feature videos, jokes, a forum where you can post your own jokes and hilarious stories, talking characters, and you can have it all e-mailed to you when something new comes!

A Political Dose

2007-08-30T22:04:00.000-07:00

In our time we have many great people and leaders setting trends to help purify the problems of the Earth. Sometimes they succeed or sometimes they get laughed at, but if both apply then I call it Political Humor. Here are few that joke around with today's politics and economy.

P.S. - These jokes make fun of your or your parents' nightmare - $3/gallon gas

President Bush today announced a new fitness plan to get people walking. It's called gasoline at three dollars a gallon. ~Jay Leno

There's a more important reason to keep NASA's programs going strong ... to achieve that greatest of discoveries, the thing we as human beings need most: space oil. ~Stephen Colbert

A Corny Joke

2007-08-27T17:10:00.000-07:00

Laughter comes with most jokes. This is not one of them.

A company's CEO is fired and replaced. The new CEO is a man who believes in saving money and making the company more efficent. One day when the new CEO walks into the break room he meets a man leaning on the window. He finds out the man's salary is $300/week and is outraged and fires him after giving him $300. Later the CEO goes and talks with another employee. When asked what the fired man's job was, the employee replies that he was the Dominoes delivery man.

"How Do You Spell S-A-T?" by Dave Barry

2007-08-23T12:56:00.000-07:00

School is coming up and people are refreshing on tools to survive it. Also for many high school students, 2008 is the year of the SAT, the main ticket to a prestigous college. For those of you confused, here is a small FAQ from Miami Herald columnist Dave Barry.

OK, high school students: I want you to stop piercing your noses for a moment and listen to me, because I'm going to talk to you about a topic that is more important to your future than anything else except flossing — your SATs.

It is very unfortunate that these tests cause some of you to experience great stress — or, as you say in your own teenage lingo, "make a cow." You believe that if you get a low SAT score, you're a dope and you'll have to attend some third-rate college where the classrooms have wheels and the athletic teams have a nickname like "The Fighting Tarpaulins," and you'll wind up in some boring, dead-end-loser job such as ragpicker or leech monger or Whitewater investigator. This is incorrect, young people!

A low SAT score does not automatically mean failure! Remember that Charles Lindbergh got only 240 on his verbal, and he went on to invent the phonograph. And if that's not inspirational enough, let me tell you a little story about a young man who took his first SAT and did very poorly. His parents were disappointed; his friends laughed at him; his dog went to the bathroom on his feet. But that young man did not give up. He signed up to take the SAT again, and he prepared by getting up every day at 3:30 a.m. to study, and when the time came to take the second SAT, he walked into that testing room and set an American record — which will probably never be broken — for falling asleep. Today he makes his living wearing ill-fitting pants and serving contaminated hamburger to the public.

The point, young people, is that there is a right way and a wrong way to prepare for your SATs, and unless you are even stupider than you look, you want to do it the right way. To help you, I would like to present the following list of "Common Questions and Answers About the SAT," which was prepared by the American Association of High School Educational Professionals Hiding Out in the Lounge.

Q. What is the SAT?

A. The term "SAT" is a set of initials, or "antonym," standing for "Scholastic Attitude Treaty Organization." This is a series of tests that predict your ability to perform in the college environment by measuring the degree to which you possess knowledge that nobody would ever in a million years actually need.

Q. What is the origin of the SAT?

A. The SAT was developed by the prestigious Educational Testing Service, which is located in Princeton, N.J., home of Harvard University. The original idea behind the SATs, as stated in the ETS's Official Historical Statement of Goals and Purposes, was "to sell a huge quantity of No. 2 pencils that we ordered by mistake." So the ETS invented a standardized test wherein high-school students were required to fill in circles on an answer sheet. The first SATs had no questions: Your score was based entirely on how many circles you filled in, and you could get extra credit by writing on your desk. When colleges complained that too many students were getting high scores, the ETS introduced questions, mostly on topics of interest to ETS personnel, such as "Where can you get decent Chinese food in the Princeton, N.J., area?" Today, the questions are developed by a prestigious team of world-renowned academic experts, who get them from "Jeopardy."

Q. Does the SAT ever contain errors?

A. Yes. Just last year, for example, an alert Michigan youngster named Jeremy Winklehopper received national attention when he noticed that, contrary to what he had learned in physics class, the SAT defined "gravity" as "a type of snake."

Q. What happened when this was brought to the attention of the Educational Testing Service?

A. Everybody enjoyed a hearty laugh, and then Jeremy's score was changed to minus 46,000 points, thus assuring that no college would ever accept him. He is currently employed in the field of urinal maintenance.

Q. Was the SAT definition of "gravity" changed?

A. Yes. It is now defined as "a heavy type of snake."

Q. What should I do if I don't know the answer to a multiple-choice SAT question?

A. Experts suggest that you start by "weeding out" the answers that are obviously false. Some of the telltale signs to look for are:
The answer contains swear words.
The answer is followed by a little sarcastic note in parentheses such as, "Oh, sure, that makes sense."
The answer contains the phrase, "according to a White House spokesperson."

Q. I have heard that I can increase my SAT score by attaching a $20 bill to the answer sheet. Is this true?

A. "Absolutely not," stated an Educational Testing Service spokesperson who identified himself as Bob. "You're going to have to do way better than that, with the price of decent Chinese food being what it is in Princeton." Bob noted that the record for the highest SAT score ever is still held by Donald Trump, who, while only in sixth grade, got 117 billion points.

Q. Can you give me the answers to this year's SAT test?

A. Well, I suppose if you sent me a large sum of cash money, I could. But that would be wrong, and I would never do such a thing, according to a White House spokesperson.

The Harry Potter Rap

2007-08-15T07:08:00.001-07:00

In honor of the seventh and final Harry Potter Book I present you the unofficial Harry Potter rap that makes you magically fit in tip-top funny state.

TV MAY BE HEALTHY!

2007-07-18T22:26:00.000-07:00

TV may be healthy, more specifically - funny tv. If your'e
still in doubt, get healthy the "Saturday Night Live" way!

Under 21- Saturday Night Live (NBC)

Double Healthy

2007-07-09T23:30:00.000-07:00

Get in tip-top, laughing state as you try to keep Bush healthy!

Bush Aerobics

Help President Bush get fit and ready for his day.

Play this free game now!!

THE FIRST POST!!

2007-07-09T23:15:00.000-07:00

Trying to lose a little weight*?
Get sick too often?
Try "A Dose of Laughter"!

According to scientific research, laughing daily for 10 minutes each day for one whole year can help you lose more or less 4.4 pounds* and also helps develop cells that fight diseases. Even forcing ourselves to laugh can help. But for those uncomfortable laughing by force this blog is here to help you.

"A Dose of Laughter" gives you a daily tidbit of humor so you stay in tip-top laughing condition. Who knows maybe you'll live for a few more months?

*"A Dose of Laughter" is not encouraging you to stop excercising and eating nutritious meal. Laughing is just an extra boost. So please do excersize and eat right.