A Dose of Laughter

The Official Dose of Laughter Site

2008-08-12T13:10:00.000-07:00

The official Dose of Laughter site is up! You can find it at www.freewebs.com/doseoflaughter.You can get Dose of Laughter wallpaper from this site, as well as ringtones and buddy icons. You can play games and see all the videos posted on this blog, and more! Check it out now!

Clarihews

2008-08-05T09:12:00.000-07:00

For those that do know what it is, a clarihew is a poem about a famous person. There are only three rules:
1. The first two and last two lines rhyme.
2. The famous person is mentioned in the first line.
3. Have fun!

A brain is what Paris Hilton needs,
All that's in there is a pile of beads.
She may get later a hotel or two,
But I think she's too dumb, what about you?

Send your own in at our new e-mail address doseoflaughter@gmail.com, and see your clarihew posted in a future blog post.

Popsicle Humor

2008-07-30T10:05:00.000-07:00

Its a nice hot summer day and you treat yourself to a cold, refreshing Popsicle stick. As many children know these sticks hold the corniest jokes in the universe. See for yourself what my sister got in one day:

What do you call a trunk full of bison? A buffa-load

What do you call lending money to a bison? A buffa-loan

What do you call bread made by a bison? A buffa-loaf.

P.S~ It was a coincidence that all three had corny bison jokes!

Signs of a Low-Quality Company

2008-07-15T20:33:00.000-07:00

I've been looking into investing lately, especially in the stock market. My reading on the subject gave me some nice tips on spotting low-quality companies, and I would like to pass it on to you:

Ten Signs You're Looking at a Low-Quality Company

The annual meeting presentation is done on an Etch-a-Sketch.
Your call to the company is greeted with, "If our product made you violently ill, please press one. If you're planning to sue us, please press two.
New line item introduced to the income statement: "Potential Revenue"
The company is named Planet Hollywood.
The very mention of its [stock] brings a chorus of laughter from co-workers.
The business, www.eMeringue.com , is based on selling pie meringues on-line.
One of the business costs mentioned in the annual report is "Bail."
The CEO reports that [a profit] depends on [the lottery].
Revenue is reported in pennies.
The CEO is a [clown]

P.S. - If you did not understand some words, don't worry there are nine (or eight, or seven, or six, or five, or four, or three, or two, or one, or zero) other things that are funny.

Happy Birthday Dose of Laughter!

2008-07-09T23:15:00.000-07:00

It's July 9, 2008 - Exactly 1 year of doses. Don't think that you can get off this medication yet, you're going to need for it life! Enough with the pharmaceutical analogies. Here is some Birthday humor:

What goes up and never comes down?
Your age!

When I was your age, my family was so poor that the only thing that I got was a year older.

Growing old is inevitable. Growing up is optional.

When is your birthday?
July 9
What year?
Every Year!!

Doctor I get a heartburn whenever I eat cake!
Well, this time take off the candles!

The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. - Lucille Ball

All jokes courtesy of http://www.coolest-kid-birthday-parties.com/birthday-jokes.html

Its time for another year!!

Alvin and the Chipmunks

2008-07-08T10:40:00.000-07:00

I am pretty sure you have heard or seen Alvin and the Chipmunks. If you're lost, its three chipmunks that sing songs at a very high pitch. Well YouTube has been flooded with videos of the Chipmunks singing popular songs. Here are a few that I like:

These are just two, but by typing Alvin and the Chipmunks plus the name of the song you want into YouTube can show you much more....

Summer

2008-06-25T17:01:00.000-07:00

How is summer going? It's fine thanks. I've been watching way too much TV and too many YouTube videos. (Maybe I'll share 'em) Hold on tight because I might be posting some of my own. Happy summer!

Some Punny Quotes

2008-06-04T18:03:00.000-07:00

What are puns? They are very punny. Ha ha! Get it...its like they are funny, but instead I used the word punny. That itself is a pun. Here are some more to illustrate this magnificent concept:

The dead batteries were given free of charge.
Don't expect to eat fancy when flying, it's just plane food.
Why was the car embarrassed? Because it had gas!
When the wheel was invented, it started a revolution.
To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
Gravity is studied a lot because it is an attractive field.

All these puns are courtesy of www.punoftheday.com

Johnny and World War III

2008-04-26T16:08:00.000-07:00

I am pretty darn sure that you have played the "...and then...." game with your friends without even knowing it. "What if there was a really smart baby with an IQ of 1000!" and then your friend might say, "and then he was sooo smart that he went to college!" and so on. Well here's one for you:

Jimmy got a card from his friend Bob one day.
He was so excited that he got the card that he tripped and broke his foot.
He was being rushed to the hospital in an ambulance when it crashed into a car in a high speed car chase going down the wrong way.
Jimmy was seriously injured and was rushed to the hospital by helicopter that dropped him a bit too early.
Luckily he had fallen from 275 feet in front of the hospital.
They rushed him in to ER and the surgeon accidently made a mistake and killed him.
Angry, the parents sued the surgeon for 10 million dollars and they won.
They also risked taking a law suit against Bob's parents.
They won another 1 million dollars.
Not knowing what to do, Bob's dad Bill went to all the banks in town.
They refused to give him a loan.
Angry, Bill screamed at the bank teller for being unfair.
Every one in the bank heard, and decided not to trust the bank anymore.
They all went to go and get their money out of their accounts but the bank could not let out all the money.
Furious, the FCC loaned 10 million dollars to the bank to pay back the angry customers.
Angry, the president of the US ordered it illegal because it took away from the funds of his statue.
Everyone hated him for that and Congress impeached him from office.
Several weeks later, the ex-president came back with the Canadian army and took over parts of the northern US.
After negotiations, the remaining US allied with Mexico to take back all the land.
Mexico wanted part of the land, so they kept California and Texas. The furious Americans declared war on Mexico.
Wanting some of the land too that it once owned for such a short time, the Canadians allied with Mexico and conqured parts of America.
Desperate, the US called for French and English help, and both countries agreed.
Wanting something in return, they decided to take Puerto Rico as part of Europe.
France wanted to control it but so did England. Their hate for each other caused them to war against each other.
In order to get support, the two countries turned to the European Union countries to help them. Some went with England, and others went with the French.
The Germans didn't choose a side because they hated them both and entered the war as another country.
America in the meanwhile asked Japan and China for help, but those two countries also went to war because they didn't want to work together.
They both began to ask for help from Asian countries to support them but China ended up taking all of them but Pakistan which the Japanese allied with.
India took this as a reason to go to war with Pakistan.
Tibet supported Pakistan because they did not like China.
China went and conquered Tibet and oppressed the people.
The French were so outraged by the notion that they declared war on China.
China decided to go and ally with the British.
Together they conquered France.
The French asked for US help.
US responded and brought in their last ally: Japan.
Japan, U.S., and France fought against China (and its allies) and the Brits (and their allies). They all destroyed Germany.
And that was how Johnny started World War III

Exciting times are afoot....

2008-04-01T20:51:00.000-07:00

Today kids congratulate President Bush, and parents despise him. Due to the failing economy and the failing No Child Left Behind program, public school budgets are getting the worse of the tax cuts. No pay, no education; its that simple. That means Dose of Laughter is going to have to start its summer double a little early, now that school has been cancelled......

April Fools!!!!
But don't worry, we'll be there to support you as school ends. Happy days!!!! :-)

Not funny!

2008-03-23T12:18:00.000-07:00

Forcing yourself to laugh can make yourself happy. Just pretend to laugh:

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine!

2008-03-12T18:57:00.000-07:00

What that quote means, no one knows. But change is here, as you can see. new look, new sidebar!

Spread the word!

Just copy and paste this onto an email:

Please visit or your dog will die and your true love will never kiss you. If you forward this onto 42 people within the next 5 milliseconds to 5 years, you will have good karma on Tuesday February 30, 2009. Just click doseoflaughter.blogspot.com.

On a sidenote: spread the word! change is here! need more people! help, help, help the needy! make us #1 on google search!

Some New Info

2008-03-06T22:25:00.001-08:00

Few things to take care of:

1) The new Nerdy Bob site is www.freewebs.com/nerdybob, please be sure to subscribe to my site.

2)Why did the cow cross the road? The chicken was on vacation.

3)Geico: 15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance. call now!!

4)Please visit the group: http://groups.google.com/group/anything-you-want and post on it.

5)Neon Pink Clicky Mechanical Pencils from Bic with plastic from Kentucky manufactured by people from Utah who are friends with Hawaiins who grow Nevadan pink pearls in South Carolina rock!!!

6)Watch this video on YouTube:www.youtube.com/watch?v=TqTHmzMk0Cw

7)Please leave a comment with your credit card number.

8)Ignore reques number 7.

9) Number 2 is a space waster.

10) If you have a car with Geico, then please give me a ride to Mexico!

11)Why would I take a car with someone who so cheap to take Geico!

Nerdy Bob and the Radioactive Ninja Bunnies

2008-02-27T21:26:00.000-08:00

Want to read a never ending story? Well at http://humorpharmacy.tripod.com/radioactive/ you can read, Nerdy Bob and the Radioactive Ninja Bunnies, the story that gets updated with a new twist every once in a while. Think of it as a sci-fi soap opera. Here is the first chapter:

Chapter 1
Long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away in a swamp lived an ogre with a bad attitude. He was hired to scare all the little children in New York City. He thought he couldn't do it, but he kept telling himself, "I think I can." He did scare all the little children, and it was good too because one of them was planning to flood New York City and create a new island off the coast. The ogre was thanked and became famous. Soon it changed when an annoying spider-bitten freak told him that he was a fake. Mad the ogre cursed God, and God answered his prayers. God gave the ogre his powers, and the ogre used it for his own good. He did and it messed his life up. Mad once again, he bought a pig to eat. All alone in the world, he decided to keep it. When he got back to his swamp, he found that it was cleaned up. Unsure what to do with his and the pig's droppings, he decided to dump his droppings in the "swamp." The waste turned the swamp into a polluted dump once again. Angry, the Environmental Protection Agency bombed the swamp with an atom bomb. Now all was left was a radioactive polluted waste dump.

Pick Up Lines

2008-02-22T16:48:00.000-08:00

Want to get that girl you've always liked?* Well here are some pick-up lines that may help:

1. I don't have a library card, but is it OK if I check you out?

2. You are so hot, you melt the elastic in my underwear.

3. Are you Jamaican? Because Jamaican me crazy!

4. Stop, drop, and roll.... You are so hot, you're on fire!

Want more listen to Weird Al's Wanna B Ur Lovr. Sorry, no video or anything :-(

A Sign I Saw

2008-02-16T13:58:00.000-08:00

On my way to a competition I saw a very interesting sign. It said:

The invisible cows were herd, but not seen. :-)

Don't get it?
The invisible cows were HEARD, but not seen.

A Better Pharmacy

2008-02-10T11:37:00.000-08:00

Remember some months ago when I announced that a new "pharmacy" was created. Well it was shut down. (Shed a tear) But good news is... there is a new pharmacy in town - the Humor Pharmacy. You can see it now at http://humorpharmacy.tripod.com/. Hip Hip Hooray!!!

Super Tuesday Fun!

2008-02-05T21:41:00.000-08:00

Today is Super Tuesday, the day when twenty-something primaries are held. To continue the spirit, choose your favorite to beat others in paintball!

Presidential Paintball

Hillary, Obama, Giuliani & more play paintball for the USA Presidency!

Play this free game now!!

Don't Download This Song

2008-01-14T20:07:00.001-08:00

A powerful song with a powerful message complete with a powerful video.

New Years Resolution

2008-01-06T14:46:00.001-08:00

It's finally 2008! This year is going to be fun because we finally have February 29! We also have a whole load of new funny videos to come about the upcoming presidential elections. Summer olympics are also to come. 2008 is bound to be a year of laughter (like every year!). So to start off this year, it's best we make some resolutions so we can end 2008 better than we started it. Don't know how to make a good resolution? Well here is Dave Barry's help/opinion on making one:

WAIT ‘TIL NEXT YEAR
By Dave Barry, The Miami Herald, January 4, 1998

Right now, while you’re still burping up little gaseous reminders of the estimated 78 cheese puffs you consumed on New Year’s Eve, is the time to make your New Year’s resolutions.
Why make resolutions? Because you CAN be a better person. I bet you know somebody who seems to be perfect — somebody who always looks terrific; somebody who manages to devote plenty of time to both family and career; somebody whose house is spotless, whose children are well-behaved and whose dog does not smell as if it sleeps on a bed of decomposing raccoons.
You wonder how that person “does it all,” don’t you? Well, stop wondering and do something! Start right now! Get up off the sofa, put on some active sportswear, and kill that person with a crowbar!
No, seriously, you need to make some New Year’s resolutions so that you can become a better you — a more-attractive you; an organized you; a you that is … well, less like you.
At this point you are saying: “Dave, I would love nothing better than to be less like myself, but every year I make the same New Year’s resolution, which is that I will lose weight, and currently my thighs are the diameter of the trans-Alaska pipeline.”
Don’t feel bad! Many people have trouble sticking to their resolutions, and there is a simple scientific explanation for this. In 1987, a team of psychologists conducted a study in which they monitored the New Year’s resolutions of 275 people. After one week, the psychologists found that 92 percent of the people were keeping their resolutions; after two weeks, we have no idea what happened, because the psychologists had quit monitoring.
“We just lost our motivation,” they reported. “Also, we found ourselves eating Twinkies by the case.”
So we see that keeping resolutions can be difficult. But you CAN do it, if you follow these practical tips:
1. BE REALISTIC.
Many people give up because they “set their sights too high.” In making a New Year’s resolution, pick a goal that you can reasonably expect to attain, as we see in these examples:
Unrealistic Goal: “In the next month, I will lose 25 pounds.”
Realistic Goal: “Over the next year, taking it an ounce or two at a time, I will gain 25 pounds, and my face will bloat like a military life raft.”
Unrealistic Goal: “I will learn to speak Chinese.”
Realistic Goal: “I will order some Chinese food.”
Unrealistic Goal: “I will read a good book.”
Realistic Goal: “I will examine the outsides of some good books, then waddle over to the part of the bookstore where they sell pastries.”
Unrealistic Goal: “I will do volunteer work for a worthy cause.”
Realistic Goal: “I will give myself a hearty scratching.”

2. THINK POSITIVE.
To succeed, you must believe in yourself. Write this motivational statement in large letters on a piece of paper and tape it someplace where you will see it often, such as on the inside of your eyeglasses:
“I CAN do it, and I WILL do it! Starting next year!”

3. LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES.
Let’s say that, like millions of weight-conscious Americans, you think you eat sensibly: Your diet consists almost exclusively of mineral water and low-calorie, low-fat foods. And yet you’re still gaining weight. Why? I’ll tell you why: You’re drinking water with minerals in it. Minerals are among the heaviest substances in the universe, second only to guests on The Jerry Springer Show. Think about it: The Appalachian mountains and most major appliances are essentially big wadsof minerals, and you’re putting those things into your body. No wonder you’re gaining weight!
FACT: The word “Perrier” is French for “balloon butt.”
I have run out of room here, thank God, so let me say in closing that I wish you the best of luck with your 1998 resolutions, and I will do the best to keep my own resolution, which is to give you, every single week, the most useful, informative and accurate columns I possibly can.
Starting next year.

Weird Al Yankovic - The Night Santa Went Crazy

2007-12-01T17:41:00.001-08:00

I will be gone for the holiday season so here's a video to the holidays!

Thanksgiving Humor

2007-11-22T18:31:00.000-08:00

On Thanksgiving, average adults consume 5000 calories, 5 times more than they should! Dose of Laughter is lending you a hand to help burn it off.

Latest Google Image:

Thanksgiving Jokes: (http://www.theholidayspot.com/thanksgiving/jokes.htm)

Asked to write a composition entitled, "What I'm thankful for on Thanksgiving,"little Timothy wrote, "I am thankful that I'm not a turkey."

If a man wants to eat a turkey on Thanksgiving, what does a turkey want? Answer: It simply wnats to run away!

If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims!

Why can't you take a turkey to church? Answer: It uses FOWL language!

What did the turkey say before it was roasted? Answer: Boy! I'm stuffed!

If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for? Answer: Their AGE

Phobia Mania

2007-11-18T21:42:00.000-08:00

Arachnaphobia - Fear of Spiders ..... Reasonable

Baraphobia - Fear of Gravity ..... ???

Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia - Fear of Long Words ....... ironic

More on this link.

Avoid Going to School*

2007-11-15T20:32:00.000-08:00

Prove to your teacher that knowledge is the root of all evil and schools shall be shut down. What you should say is,

"For the sake of argument, wealth will equal money. Now I begin:

Money is the root of all evil
money is wealth.
Wealth is power and knowledge is power.
That means that knowlege is wealth which means knowledge is money,
and therefore knowledge is the root of all evil.

* A Dose of Laughter will NOT be responsible for any trouble you will get in.

Yahoo Soul Search (does NOT exist)

2007-11-08T21:44:00.000-08:00